It’s my last official week of having a high-school diploma (an IB diploma in my case) as the highest form of degree. After Friday there will be no turning back – the official start of “there is such a thing as stupid questions”, because as a degree-holder, I’m supposed to have the answers. Right?
This past weekend was my last as a college student. Yes, there is of course a possibility of acquiring more degrees, and I’m sure that by some point in life I’ll have a Ph. D., however, I’ll never ever be an undergraduate student again. Cue: hyperventilation.
These past few weeks I’ve had a sudden panic lingering around me like a dark cloud. I kept thinking about that episode of Gossip Girl where Dan and Vanessa try to give Olivia (Hilary Duff) the ultimate college experience in a few days. As NYU students, they squeezed in a bunch of inappropriate stuff that’s only appropriate in your super-early 20s. Why haven’t I done that?
Attending a college that allows you to get a few steps ahead was one of the best decisions of my life – but it came at a cost. At LIM, we don’t have a strong sense of a community, there are no kegs, no beerpong, no constant introduction to new people – we consider college as work, attend classes, run to the next building or whatever next engagement’s on the agenda. We’re juggling an internship, a job, 7 classes, a high GPA, a social life, a healthy lifestyle and sleep – so when hanging out with those “normal” college kids, we tend to be the losers getting frisky after half a cocktail.
On the other hand, LIM threw us into the world of “adulting” faster than we could say “lemme take a selfie”. NYC has been our playground, so while other college kids were hitting dorm room parties, we were at the fanciest spots with the amazeballs outfits. You’d rarely even find someone on campus wearing sweatpants – and if they did, a good story would accompany the choice of outfit.
Overall, I’m having some mixed feelings about being a “big girl”. It seems liberating to not have homework and assignments waiting at home like a lonely dog, but how exciting is it really to only have to juggle 1 thing as opposed to a thousand – as it’s been these past 3 years. Losing out on a crazy college experience makes me nervous about having to catch up during my midlife crisis. Or worse – during retirement! Dirty Grandpa certainly didn’t help me in this case. Also, are people really going to expect me to know stuff? The most important lesson I’ve learned in college is that I know nothing. I’m Jon Snow.